The Toddler Brain (06/02/2026)

Photo by Claudia Mazzei

Julia Wilcox gave a talk entitled: The Toddler Brain at the Museum on February 6th.

Julia is a Parent Coach and Montessori educator from New York, who said that she arrived in Lecce via Tuscany.

She began by explaining how our brains develop, and showed that by the age of 3 a kid’s brain has developed to 80% of an adult’s, whereas when a baby is only one week old its brain is only 25% of a fully developed one.

For the correct development of a child, loving nurturing is the foundation for it to experiment and grow, and adults provide the scaffolding, preferably like the bamboo scaffolding used in certain countries, because it is both sturdy and flexible.

An adult brain is reached around the age of 20, though of course it continues developing and acquiring both knowledge and experience.

An amusing image of a toddler: a sports car engine with only bicycle brakes!

AI image

Julia then showed the various parts of the brain and their functions: the Prefrontal cortex is for planning and problem-solving; the Amygdala constitutes the alarm system (fight, flight or freeze); the Hippocampus provides the memory of how and what happened.

 When toddlers have tantrums it is because they are in a temporary state of deregulation.

Roughly speaking the right side of the brain is the creative side, and the left is the analytical. There are notable differences between the development of these in boys and girls.

At the age of 1, toddlers have big feelings but no tools to deal with them; at 2 they have fast emotions but are slow thinking; at 3 they acquire things at lightning speed. It is important to realise that their behaviour is driven by emotion, not choice. They will have meltdowns over “nothing”, they are “unable” to listen and they seek independence while needing help.

Their tantrums can be set off by overstimulation, by difficulty communicating, by the boundaries they meet and by feeling misunderstood. Adults often feel toddlers are giving them a hard time but in fact the toddlers are “having” a hard time!

What toddlers need are (a) calm, empathetic adults who know how to repair (when they lose their cool); ( b) predictable and healthy routines, with adults in charge; (c) simple choices, clear explanations but no lectures; and above all (d) connection before correction. It is important to remember that self-soothing does not exist in small children.

Julia’s talk was very clear, stimulating and informative and everyone  participated in it with interest, as the questions at the end showed.